Alone I sat in an empty row

Caught in spasm of love

In between relentless throe

Thrust of love deadly but slow.

 

Memoir of love buried just aside

Crying to my full on grave besides

Left alone in this world so bright

Looking my way to find delight

 

Sitting on the top of a lonely hill

Watching the sky with just no will

Trees below just shedding the leaves

To cover the wound still unhealed.

 

The wail of heart in soft moon light

The spittle of my throat which has dried

Falling tears on grass shining bright

Reminding the past with nothing right

 

The whole of heart has tore apart

Bewildered past haunting the heart

Like a creepy forest dense and dark

Reminding me that I am alone in mart

 

Talking to myself & asking my soul

Why my dear you can’t control

Letting the emotion out of my soul

I felt like that I am just no more..

जग में जब ली पहली साँस

माँ तब तुम थी मेरे पास

कदम बढाया पहला जब भी

मेरे पास माँ था तुम्हारा ही हाथ

आँखों को नम मैंने जब जब पाया

आंसू पोछने आपका आँचल पाया

अपने जीवन में जब भी कठिनाई आई

मेरी मदद को माँ तब तब तुम आई

अपने आप को जब भी जख्मी पाया

माँ मैंने आपके हाथ में मरहम पाया

नजरो के सामने जब भी तम को पाया

आपके साए में आगे का रास्ता दिखाया

थकती आँखों ने जब नींद का झरोखा आया

माँ तेरी गोद और तेरे आँचल में नींद को पाया

आपनी नाकामी से जब मेरा मन घबराया

आपकी ही बातो का माँ मैंने हौसला पाया

काश मैं माँ अपने मान की बात कह पाता

कितना प्यार मिला है ये बतला पाता

आपनी भावनाओ को आपको समझा पाता

और आपकी महानता शब्दों में उतार पाता

काश मैं माँ मेरे लिए आप क्या हो यह बता पाता…!!

कहते है खामोशी की होती नहीं जुबान
पर यादो के शहर की है ये बाघबान
हँसते खिलखिलाते लम्हों की सुनाती दास्तान
और आखो के आसुओं की देती येः बयान

कल आज और कल ये सब में है विध्यमान
ये ना सुने किसी की और ना दे किसी पर ध्यान
संकट के लम्हों में, अनचाहे प्रश्नों में,सब जगह विराजमान
अगर भावः प्रकट ना कर पाओ, तो ये है आपका मुकाम

कभी मातम के साथ, कभी चकित भावः में आती है
आपको सूनेपन का एहसास कराती है वो
कभी सुकून, कभी जूनून या जवाब दे जाती है वो
पर हाँ एक सच्चे दोस्त का फर्ज निभाती है वो

इतना कुछ करती है फिर भी शांत रह जाती है वो
आपके संग हो कर भी अपने अस्तित्व को छुपा लेती है वो
आप उससे भूल भी जाओ एक पल के लिए
पर हर पल आपसे कुछ कह जाती है वो…

बस यही मान लो बिना कुछ कहे बहुत कुछ कह जाती है वो
फिर भी बिना जुबान हर पल गुनगुनाती है वो..
आपके साथ है वो बस इतना हे याद दिलाती है वो
मेरे लफ्जो के जरिये आप तक आना चाहती है वो…

A breeze that touched my soul

The words that I couldn’t hold

So warm, so fresh, that i still cheerish

Sweet moments they havent perished

 

Blink of my eyes still reminds me

Thoughts of you still paralise me

The world looks numb & i become dumb 

Memories so sweet yet incomplete.

 

Doddling down the dark streets

thinking about the temple streets

The days are gone and time passed by

But why these memories are still alive

 

Sitting somewhere in the canteen seats

Sipping down soda letting world free

The quater of day just flew by

And with heavy heart I said good bye

 

Promise to change, I made many times

But the change of time has brain washed my mind

Lucky were the moments spent with you

More lucky are those which now i cant measure..

 

Life is a battle sometimes silent sometimes it rattles

Days come by and days past by, they just dont settle

Joy and sadness, feeling of complete madness

Moments so sweet withou them this life is incomplete

This one is special to me as this one was made in train, when our group was leaving for home and we knew we will never meet again in college and never be together. A sentimental moment it was and its still afresh in my heart, guys and gals from nit trichy please take it as tribute to batch of 2007 and more special to Dude of MP, i would be glad if some one in comments can mention all the names that our juniors gave to us on the farewell t-shirt. I am missing you guys..please read it!!

छुटा अपना यह कारवां
पीछे रह गया यादो का बस समां

आगे है नई मंजिले
एक अंजना सा समां
छुटा अपना यह कारवां …

ना आयेंगे वो बीते दिन
सुनी बहुत होगी जिंदगी उन के बिन
दोस्तों से होकर यू जुदा
कैसे बिताएंगे अब हर दिन
छुटा अपना यह कारवां …

अपनों से दूर अपना सा एक जहाँ
ख़ुशी और गम में झूमता कारवां
होती थी मस्ती की हर वो रात
ख्वाबो में झूमता था दिन का समां
छुटा अपना यह कारवां …

फूलो में खेलती थी वह जिंदगी
और कांटो को भी झेलती वो जिंदगी
वैसे होती थी कमरे में हर चीज यहाँ वहाँ
मोबाइल पर लोग लगे रहते थे जाने कहाँ
छुटा अपना यह कारवां …

दारु सुट्टे में बिताये गए वो दिन
बन गए है बस यादो के पल छीन
देते रहे हम जिस जगह को गालिया
आज याद आती है उसकी हर गलिया
छुटा अपना यह कारवां …

वो मेस के खाने को कोसना
और हर पल घर जाने की सोचना
वो घर के खाने पर दानव की तरह टूटना
और फिर झगडे में आपनो का यू रूठना
छुटा अपना यह कारवां …

वो टीवी पर देखना हर भजन
और अपने गेट का पौष्टिक भोजन
wild west संगम की वो रातें
और छत पर बिताये हर वो रातें
छुटा अपना यह कारवां …

first year से final year का ये सफ़र
अब है हमारी यादो का एक मंजर
दुआ है मेरी, मिलते  रहना मेरे यारो
बाटते रहना खुशिया मेरे प्यारो

जिंदगी के अगले सफ़र में
पाना ऊँची ऊँची कई मंजिले
दूर हो कर भी हमसे मेरे यारो
दिल में याद रखना इन दिनों को यारो

बस अब छुटा अपना यह कारवां …

तुम से जुदाई का गम क्या कम था
जो यादो ने आ कर रुला दिया
खाई के छोर पर खड़े थे हम
यादो ने आ कर हमे गिरा दिया

जिंदगी की ख़ुशी के मौके है कम
और सागर सा भरा है इसमें गम
गोते लगा रहे थे इन लहरों में हम
की यादो ने आ कर हमे लहरों में डूबा दिया

बंद पलकों में सपना लेकर सोये थे हम
खवाब के अंजाम पर रो रहे थे हम
नींद को तोड़ कर तुमने हमे जगा दिया
हँस लेते जाग कर के हम यादो ने फिर रुला दिया

दिल को मिले  जख्म नहीं थे कम और
जख्म भरने के लिए नहीं था मरहम
वक़्त के साथ भर जाते यह जख्म
पर यादो ने आ कर इन पर नमक लगा दिया

पी लेते हर आंसू को हँस कर हम
बढ़ता नहीं हमारा यह दर्दो गम
तुमको पा कर खुश तौ बहुत हुए हम
पर तुमसे याद आया पुराना हर वो गम

डगमग से जीवन पथ पर चले हम
सम्हाल सम्हाल कर रख रहे थे कदम
धीरे धीरे आगे बढ़ भी रहे थे हम
तुमने आ कर वो बंधन याद करा दिया

तुमने जो दिया वो नहीं था किसी से कम
पर उन बातो को सोच कर होती है आंखे नम
देंगे सिर्फ तुम्हे दुआ ही हम
और मानेंगे इसे मेरे खुदा का करम

तुम दिल को बहुत अजीज हो मानते है हम
पर इस पल सम्हालो, लाद्खादा रहे है हम
तुम्हे अपने से दूर पा कर, घबरा रहे है हम
यादो के मंजर में खुद को अकेला पा रहे है हम

तुम्हे इन बहते आंसू की है कसम
रहना इस दिल में बन कर मेरे हमदम
देना इतना प्यार की भर जाये यादो का जख्म
और फिर ना कहे की यादो ने क्या कर डाला हमदम….

Got a chance to see DEV D in theater, a movie for the fast moving generation,( who really is on fast track today). A movie depicting a modern day devdas, what may have made people to go to theater may be the dialogues of the movie or the songs. But this was much more then this, it was about what is lacking in relationship of today. I just wana ask one thing from people is it so essential to live ur life on drugs when u really loose someone. Is it so necessary to cut the pain with another pain, which can cost you ur life. What makes devdas great is his agony for “Paro”, in the older version of devdas , hero lost his life but here he moved on. In my opinion that’s what makes movie so interesting.

 Movie clearly depicts how modern generation lack clarity, and just because someone else comes and talks rubbish about your love, you start doubting your love which has been there for so long. But what I would like to know more from this generation is: “Is love a physical relation or a metal bond”? Recently read a blog where author tried to present a thought: “Is virginity so important criterion for establishing relation”, the comment received clearly said they don’t mind if there loved one are not virgin, but if we go by people’s verdict, movie clearly depicts the opposite. I would really disagree with opinion of people, I would just say that people please be real, do not try to show off. We although are moving towards US culture. But still our mentality is not so open enough to accept such facts. Indians still can’t digest if even your loved one talks to someone else.

 The other point that was beautifully raised in the movie was how a minor became chandar, I mean we Indians talk a lot about being so innocent but are we really so, more then being innocent we are more hypocrite, if a girl who is minor is caught on a mms is being criticized only after watching the whole clip, people try to bond with her only after watching the whole clipping. Porn sells, but what if it sells on a cost of ruining someone’s life, even if it sells is it so important make an issue of it, not only people , the media also tries to get a bite out of the mental pain of that little gal. Even the family of that poor child does not stands and support her, what can be more excruciating for a gal, who suffered because her so called partner wanted to be famous or just wanted to show off her friends his brave deeds. What that gal said to dev was right, “Not even my dad hugged me and said its ok baby we will handle it, instead he preferred to shoot himself”. When will we be in a position to understand the mental pain the other person undergoes in such a situations.

The other good thing that I liked about movie is if a guy has pleasure with other gal then he is not blamed, but on contrary if a gal even thinks of it then, she is called a slut. I mean why such a discrimination, why is our mentality like this? Talking about slut, a very brave dialogue in the movie talks about a hindi word “Randi”. Now in the conversation between dev and chand, both of them discuss about there life, and when dev tries to ask how chand came in such a business , he could not use the proper hindi term cause he did not mean to hurt chand’s feeling. But the gal accepts it bravely and says why don’t u use that term, is it outdated?? Or is it wrong? What great we achieve if we call them by other name “sex worker”? They are all victim of man’s world who for a pleasure of second spoils life of others. What’s wrong if they accept that its man’s world and live with it, because they wana live there life. Why do we treat them like that? Some cool massages that movie gave were:

- Never drink and drive

- Drugs are always dangerous – You can’t trust a stranger be it a servant or a taxi driver.

- Be very clear in relation, the more u are clear, more you are happy.

- No one is born bad/spoilt; it’s just the circumstances that made them so.

All in all it gave so much to think about that one can discuss as long as he wants. But please let me know your views.

Here I am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed from a maverick collage life to strict professional life……

How tiny pocket money changed to huge monthly paychecks
but then why it gives lesss happiness….

How a few local denim jeans changed to new branded wardrobe
but then why there are less people to use them

How a single plate of samosa changed to a full Pizza or burger
But then why there is less hunger…..

Here i am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed…..

How a bike always in reserve changed to bike always on
but then why there are less places to go on……

How a small coffee shop changed to cafe coffee day
but then why its feels like shop is far away…..

How a limited prepaid card changed to postpaid package
but then why there are less calls & more messages……

Here i am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed……

How a general class journey changed to Flight journey
But then why there are less vacations for enjoyment….

How a old assembled desktop changed to new branded laptop
but then why there is less time to put it on……….

How a small bunch of friends changed to office mate
But then why we always feel lonely n miss those college frnz.….

Here i am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed….. How it changed……..

Now if the last one was for my friend fosla this one goes for one who got his love. Strange naa… some one loose some one win in this game of love. Hope that this one gives reader the same delight as the previous one .

 

tere ishq mein duba hun is kadar

ki khud se ho chuka hu bekhabar

subah se hoti hai shyam na koi khabar

meri yaado ka hai kuch aisa manjar

 

har ghadi har pal sunta hu tujhe

khwabo ke sirhane mein bunta hu tujhe

tujh se kaisa hai marasim ye mera

na samajh aaya kya tera kya hai mera.

 

lamho ki kaleen par sunahri yadein hai teri

jinko chune se badli hai jindagani meri

saath bitaya har pal saugat hai teri

jin mein basi hai kitni khushiya meri

 

tere saath ka tah-e-dil se istakbal karta hun

aur yeh sab ko ek bar mile ye bhi dua karta hun

un chand lamho ko har pal mahsoos karta hun

aur apne alfajo ko yun he bunta rehta hun…

This one is a tribute to my friend Sukhvinder!! whom we use to call  “FOSLA”. Now i dont need to tell you what FOSLA means, fosla fell in love with a gal name MONA NAIK. And what he felt he told me and while talking to this sweet freind of mine, I came up with these lines…Hope you all will like it..

 

 

In search of sleep, I tried so hard

To give running thoughts a small halt.

Running into emotions I cried so hard,

The heart fell into pieces & I shouted aloud.

 

But with me now was silence my friends,

An oath to wait & let this time pass again.

Things will change, my heart brings hope,

But the lone ray of hopes has fallen apart.

 

Waiting and waiting I am tried of myself

Loosing my patience I am out of my control.

My habit to smile has left me now and,

Comic sense has finally said to me bye-bye.

 

More I forget the closer I find,

Vicious whirlpool and never ending turmoil

Thoughts in my mind has made me remind,

U were never mine, U were never mine….

 

How can my love be just one sided

Giving you no chance and leaving u undecided

I gave you my life, I gave u my time

Searching in your heart,  that rhythm divine.

 

Years passed by and many days ran away

But u will come back why do I always say,

Why thoughts of leaving you leave me gray

And tears in my eyes come from no where.

 

Every fallen tear, carries the pain I bear

I can’t feel my wounds just don’t heal

I still respire but I lack all my desire

Without you I dream to reach no higher

 

From the bottom of my heart I still love you

My love this side is still waiting for you

Come hold my hand and make me alive

Insomniac and dieing now I cant survive…

 

Do let me know if you like it…