I know my last blog was not in English, but as promised I am back with my episodes. So here we go again as always before I start let me make it absolutely clear all characters in this story are completely fictional and resemblance with anyone should be considered a mere coincidence.

So far we have seen the journey back home after a short University back. Devil after that chat came to know who Chi was, for the first time Devil who love to be the notorious and trouble maker for others felt as if he had met his match in terms of thinking. As I said in my last blog  some journeys are endless and some chat are too confidential yet so unique. Devil enjoyed the chat and he understood who Chi was, Chi on the other hand was lost in thoughts of Cha, Cha was gone and for Chi long wait to see her again has started. Chi always enjoyed coming back to home and being with the family, but this time it was slightly different he wanted to be back in University. Its strange how someone can push you to a limit that you cant afford to miss presence of other person for a second. Next day morning Chi was home and was enjoying homely food, care of his mother and luxury of home. Off all the luxury of home there were few things that Chi use to enjoy most:

1 Head massage by his mother

2 Rice, lentil and mashed potato all mixed by mother’s hand

3 an evening walk and chat on different topics.

Off these Cha too enjoyed head massage by her mother and evening walk with her mother. Cha was able to meet her school time friend, one she was very close to was Raj. Both have been in same school since childhood. Cha had soft corner for Rajkumar (Raj), she wanted to share her experience with Raj and hear his experience from University. Both were good in studies they competitors in studies, like the good old school days they use to exchange notes and just like Cha, Raj had feelings for Cha. It was a matter of time when either of them would blink and express their feelings. It was Raj who blinked first, as a writer I would say the boys are the impatient ones if they were to play a game of patience with the other gender, it would be one game in which they will loose majority of time and that too with a big margin. So the day after Cha arrived her home town, she was busy unwrapping her baggage and meeting relatives. She was relieved to be back and was looking forward to meet old school friends and specially Raj. While she was in that thought process, she gets a call from Raj, back than mobile were picking trends yet it was a landline call. At home everyone knew who Raj was and how intense was the competition they shared and how they were focused on there career. I am sure you would be wondering why these lines were added, not very often at young age a boy calling a girl gets such a welcome reception in India. Indian parenting is all about being protective to kids, and keep them focused to the ultimate goal of getting good jobs. Henceforth you wont see parents being to experimental with kids. They decided to meet at coffee shop next day, both of them equally excited to see each other and share their University experience. Raj was excited as he was about to express his feelings but was nervous about what if it doesn’t go as per plan (a typical boys dilemma before proposal). Next day a bright sunny day lovely September morning, Raj paid special attention to how he was looking and the dressing, he did his hair more often than he has ever done in one month and looked in mirror just to make sure he can do the last bit of touch up to make him look perfect.

Raj, like a guy about to propose came much earlier to venue, in his nervousness wanted to make sure that when he proposes things are perfect, the waiter came in to take the order  and here is the conversation:

Waiter: Good afternoon sir, what would you like to have?

Raj: I am waiting for someone but I need a big favour from you, when you bring the bill can you bring this rose and this card?

Waiter (with a smirk): Always happy to help sir, are you proposing a girl today (What a daft question, to a nervous guy)?

Raj: Buddy, please make sure only you serve this table and you don’t need to let her know by any means, I want to see the surprise on her face and make sure you bring the bill when not many people are in shop (so that if something goes wrong, its not a big embarrassment for Raj)

A decision which he will regret later and you will come to know why.

Waiter: Don’t worry sir, Good luck and hope all goes well.

30 mins later at scheduled time Cha arrived, she was dressed casually but the joy of being home was on her face, to Raj that was a clear signal that she is in good mood and hopefully that’s a good start. Post greeting each other getting to know how they were doing coffee was ordered, Raj started to talk about his first few days in University and his experience like a nervous boy he was talking endlessly. He was trying to avoid eye contact because he knew if he did so, it may spill the beans.

Cha: Raj, whats the matter are you all good, you are sweating , I know I should not ask you but did senior trouble you? (she was clearly worried based on her limited experience with seniors)

Raj ( to avoid nervousness and appear confident): Oh, No.. no not at all, they are good but you know they have that usual senior business (not to disclose anything regarding his encounter with seniors and keep focus on his goals). How about you, how is your batch? Anyone good there (just to check, if any competition is in his way)? Hope seniors are very warm and welcoming (with lot of nervousness)?

In comes waiter (knowing the entire background): Sir would you like to have cold water?

Raj: Yes please… (to hear more from Cha)

Waiter: Tap or mineral?

Raj (half annoyed and getting anxious, directing toward Cha): Ask madam…

Cha: Tap water please.

Waiter (sensing the nervousness and to annoy Raj a bit more): So would you like to try our new range of grilled sandwiches?

Raj (now totally annoyed but yet controlling anger and trying to avoid waiter): Can you please get coffee first we may decide later.

After waiter went away, Raj took a sigh of relief and now curious to know story on Cha’s side.

Cha (as if she was confused what to say): I don’t know, I am really confused. I knew that when you go to University you may not have comfortable conversations with seniors but the problem is not seniors the problem is current batch. (As expected Raj’s worst fear was coming true, he was now more determined than ever to express his feelings).

Cha: I don’t know what guys think of themselves, there is this guy call Chi who for no reason is trying to get up close with my friend Rita (Raj took a big sigh of relief, thank god it was not for Cha), she is an innocent girl who is my good friend, she has worked hard and got a good college I think she should study rather than waste time in being romantic at this junction (Raj again nervous thinking what to say or do, he was sweating even more now)

Waiter: Here is your order sir, anything else (With a smile looking towards Raj with expectation for sandwich order)

Raj (looking towards Cha, to ask if she wanted): Ask Madam

Cha: No we are fine thank you.

Cha started to tell the entire story and each and every encounter with Chi, as if it was inscribed in her mind ( at that very same moment Chi was missing Cha and those days in college) with every sip Cha was taking Raj was getting to know that Cha was not ready for proposal and was getting even more nervous. She finished half his cup and her story and asked Raj (who has just had 2 sips of coffee till now) to share his experience.

Raj wanted to keep the conversation going on for as long as he could so that she does not ask to leave and the waiter does not bring the bill, with every sip Raj’s throat was getting dry. When he finished the story Cha was having the last few sips of coffee, Cha asked Raj to finish his coffee. Raj even more nervous, heard a bang sound, he looked around and was looking for waiter to bring sandwich rather than bill, he called the waiter.

Raj: Can we try your special sandwich?

Waiter (with utter disappointment and lost opportunity expression): Sir we had an electrical fault and we no longer can serve sandwiches.

Cha (interrupting): Its alright we would be leaving now, please bring the bill.

Waiter (the moment he heard that turned around in all excitement without looking at Raj): Yes madam in a minute

Raj (trying to stop waiter, with a dry throat unzipping his sealed lips): Waiter… by then he was gone.

Cha: Why are you trying to waste your money, just save it, you will need it. (Raj even more nervous because he knew what was coming) Look at me Raj you don’t look great whats the matter, you can be frank with me and tell me whats bothering you?

Waiter in the mean time brought the bill with card and rose, just as Raj instructed.

Cha totally shocked and surprised and as if the world around had changed, looked at Raj, Raj trying to shy away and still trying to gather strength to say it to Cha.

Cha opened the card just to confirm what she was feeling was right, after Chi’s slap incident she did not want to take any hasty step. But to her surprise she was not wrong, it was her fear coming true.

Cha left in a hurry but kept the card with her and threw the rose on ground. Waiter who was just few feet away saw this and turned to take other orders, he knew that he is not getting a good tip.


Same night Chi who wanted to share the news with her mother with whom he was very close got a similar response. Both Cha and Chi were just back for a week and they were in a zone of silence where they had no clue of how to deal with this situation. It’s an irony Cha who was focused on studies got a proposal and Chi who was romantic got a promise to focus on studies. Next few days were days where they were trying to be normal but were dealing with silence. Raj on the other hand knew the fate so did not try to get in touch with Cha. A long silence prevailed for next few days.

Oh my silence, my wonderful friend

You live with me and dance on my misery

Such is your agony, I feel just no end

You inflict deep wound and your music never ends

Behold my soul rest at your feet

Either you finish this or just leave

Oh my silence, my wonderful friend…..

Now that both Cha and Chi have faced with there worst fear and facing the real world, it would be interesting how the coming days they behave and what future has stored in for them. I hope to release the next episode soon, but would like to know your views. Till then love life and live life.

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एक तार

Happy new year all, hope you all had a good new year. I apologies I should have published the next episode of Cha and Chi. But here I am with something totally different and something in my own language. Its very rare that people come across individual who share a story that you could correlate, Something that you know you have gone through and faced even though  you haven’t. I had a chance to interact with one such personality, even though my story is no match to their’s but what it has done is, plucked some old chords which were long broken. Chords which you buried long time back and termed them “Dead”, when such chords play again you need words and nothing can match those tunes then your own mother tongue. Not a jolly one to start with but its an outcome of some dead strings reattached.


आज फिर दिल खुद से आजाद हुआ है
खुद से फिर बेपनाह हुआ है
जिसकी आवाज से जागते थे हम
और जिसको देख कर सोते थे हम
आज उसके ख़याल में दिल खुद से फ़ना है

कर दिया अपने दिल को अपने हाथो से तबाह
फिर भी एक उम्मीद की डोर को अब भी थामे है
ना गिला है खुद से ना शिकवा है किसी से
फिर भी क्यों खुद से अब भी लापता है

आज उसके ख्याल में दिल खुद से फ़ना है…

सपनो की जगदोजहद को उजाड़ दिया है
अरमानो की कश्ती को भी डूबा दिया है
कहने को तो आज भी हम ज़िंदा ही है
पर अपनी ही मौत पर हम आज भी शर्मिंदा है

आज उसके ख्याल में दिल खुद है फ़ना है…

आज की राख पे कल का सफर बुनते है
और हर बीते लम्हो को आज भी दिल में जीते है
करे लाख कोशिश पर खुद के गुनहगार है
रात तो कट नहीं रही पर सुबह का इंतजार है

आज उसके ख़याल में दिल खुद से फ़ना है…

अपनी मर्जी की कश्ती धार में गुमनाम है
लौ तो बुझ गयी अब ना कोई एहसास ज़िंदा है
कर तो ले हम हालात से अभी कोई समझौता
पर कहने को बूतऔर नाम के लिए ही ज़िंदा है

आज उसके ख़याल में दिल खुद से फ़ना है…

I am sure not everyone could understand the words, but for those of you who couldn’t understand a word, enjoy this music

Hello all again, the same old statement: all characters in this story are completely fictional and resemblance with anyone should be considered a mere coincidence. It’s the last blog of the year or the first one to welcome 2019. Its amazing how I can call the same blog, with different approach. I call that perspective. For me 2018 personally was a year of big changes, challenges, some good some bad surprises. I can have a perspective that can define it as a year full of challenges or an year filled with big learning and gaining new avenues. Its amazing how your perspective can change everything, the old saying of glass half full or half empty. So I would like to readers to let me know how do they perceive this story going forward. So coming back to story, Devil heard the conversation and knew very well that something was fishy. He kept a close eye on Chi. Train journey with Cha was short and Chi had to travel further, however neither of them were sleepy nor enjoying the journey. The entire compartment lights were off so Chi decided to sit on the door, he was enjoying the cool breeze and the twinkling lights of village, all of sudden he was hit on his back. It was the railway police officer who wanted to lock the door and avoid any mishaps on journey. Chi wanted to stay and enjoy the journey but was forced to leave, he could not sleep, an unusual anxiety surrounded him, he was thinking about his last 1 month in college. His reflection did not give him anything positive, he was upset, he was not feeling great about himself, his cause of concern was Cha, who did not understood any of his emotions and reacted hastily. He was not angry on Cha, but he wanted to vent out his feelings to explain the circumstances and show his heart to her. In the midst of his thoughts the train stopped. He thought of having a nice cup of coffee, cause nothing on a cold night can be much more soothing than a warm cup of tea or a nice south Indian filter coffee. The train stop was for 3 mins, so he took a quick sprint to coffee shop and got a nice cup of coffee and ran back to compartment, standing on the door, he suddenly noted, Chi listening to her Walkman and looking for books. The train has now blown second whistle which means it is about to start rolling and leave platform. Chi made sure that it was Cha, from the dress she was wearing Chi was sure it was Cha at the book stall. He quickly ran down to the book stall, the train has started rolling by now.

He tapped on Cha’s shoulder, she turned back, (by god, Chi skipped how many heart beats he does not know, he stood frozen, indicating finger towards train) for next 5 seconds Chi was a statue and Cha all shook up, she was scared to death, that she may miss train. All of sudden she started moving, that’s when Chi realised that he has to catch a train.  In haste of moment, Chi dropped his coffee and started running, being a boy he was able to run faster, however Cha in her nervousness was not quick, that’s when Chi made a judgement call , he held Cha’s hand and ran towards the compartment, by then train had gained sufficient momentum. He made sure that Cha gets in the train comfortably, once Cha got in, she asked Chi to pass hand and board train quickly. That was the moment, Chi was thrilled, he wanted that train to run with same pace forever and this platform to never end, if some moments could be run infinitely, it would this amongst few. Finally Chi boarded the train, with help of Cha, the moment he came in, he saw Devil walking by, and that was it, that moment ended then and there (Reason, in an engineering college, if a girl and guy are together, this news spreads like wild fire, I am sure you would know from prior episodes). Cha wanted to say something but Chi left the hand and walked away with out saying anything or looking at Cha. Cha on the other hand wanted to apologies and say thanks for helping, she knew that her reactions have neither helped Chi nor Rita. Cha realised soon that Devil’s presence flipped everything. Both of them went to their respective seats, its amazing how some of the moments turn up, Chi went for a coffee, never got one, but what he got was a moment of a lifetime. He was gazing through his window on his seat, suddenly he realised someone trying to sit next to him. Guess what, it was Devil.

Devil (with full conviction and authority) : Dude, if you love her why don’t you tell her?

Chi (totally nervous and shocked by the question): What ? Whom? What are you talking?

Devil (sheepish smile): Buddy, don’t teach the headmaster, the rules of the school!! I am a simple person and do not like to talk in circle, so I would come to the point straight away. So tell me why don’t you express your feelings?

Chi (in complete denial, and even more nervous and sweaty): I don’t know what you are talking about?

Devil (even more confidence and arrogance) : Buddy, you followed a simple rule of getting information about Cha from Rita, you got caught, people rumoured about you and Rita, you didn’t retaliated, you had no issues, which means you were not after Rita, but when I asked about you and Cha, you are sweating and so damn nervous as if I am taking your Viva/ practical exams. So open up and whats the matter?

Chi (completely shell shocked) : Bravo, you write a good story, may be you can be a good story writer!! How about that for a profession? Why doing engineering?

Devil (in his own swag) : Buddy, you don’t know all my professions, now if you don’t open up and tell me the truth, rest assure, I can take journalism and be a good reporter and make the story what I saw even more spicy and broadcast to entire engineering college, or you can be a good boy and tell the doctor, why didn’t you say?

Chi (now with sweaty palms and forehead): This is not the right place nor the right time, if someone hears the story, it wont be nice.

Devil (with a new bright idea):You cant say it, but you can write it, so here you go here is a piece of paper, go on write everything and once this conversation is done, that paper is shredded and discarded, total safety no issues.

Here goes the silent conversation:

Chi: I know my feelings very well, but don’t know her feelings for me, to add to it, recent incidents have created all wrong image about me on her. I am actually surprised how you know my perspective and how you understood this entire episode.

Devil: Don’t ask questions, this department is mine, Until you don’t share your feelings how come you will know that she shares the same?

Chi: Well, my dear love guru, who pretend to be headmaster of this school, a wrong impression and her perception that I am after Rita, does not go well with me expressing her that I am in love with her.

Devil: So what do you want to do? Wait till someone else comes and says the same to her?

Chi: You never know someone might have already done that before me? Do you know her story as well? Mr Swaggy?

Devil: Fair enough, but how can you be sure that she is committed?

Chi: Do you think only you can be headmaster of a school?

Devil: But to say water is cold without entering the water is cowardliness.

Chi: You like moon, you love to see stars, you enjoy the softness of moonlight, you always want to reach to stars, but you cant. My love is something like a moonlight I know I can see it, I can sense it, it’s a feeling that gives me peace, joy, eternity, but I know all this cannot be possible alive.

Devil: That’s an excellent philosophy you gave, So whats love to you?

Chi: Ohhh, someone is now interested in my philosophy? Well now that you have asked me, for me love is not just a feeling, it’s like a soul that reside inside you, it’s a fairy who would try to protect your love from every harm, never let them be in any trouble, who could sacrifice everything and anything for their happiness. For me love is a feeling that you get when you go to temple and ask god to give you happiness and the feeling when god actually showers blessing on you. Its like an essence in which you can find god itself, and when you get that essence, you don’t need anything, the separation, the boundaries, the distance do not matter, you can happily sacrifice yourself and your self-existence for happiness of your love. It’s a devotion which you find in god, so pure, so effective and yet so unique.

Devil: Going by your philosophy, love can only happen once?

Chi: Love is everywhere dear, its in every relation, but if you are talking about true love, someone whom you aspire to spend life with, I call it true love, yes that happens only once, however every relation has love in it and as long as you can be honest in them, you are still spreading the love. And yes if your next question is what if you don’t get true love in your life? The answer is in my definition of true love, its an essence, it’s a feeling with which you can spend your entire life, a joy that can touch your soul and set it free from this world.

Devil (Despite being impressed, but to annoy Chi) : People like you are the reason why girls prefer to not talk to you. Honest advice, in this show off world no one will understand your philosophy, better change it else you would suffer in life.

Chi (without a shock and a smile) : My true love is with me, if she is mine or not does not bother me, I will find a reason to spread a smile on her face, you don’t worry about me.

The chat ended at this point, as per rules the paper was destroyed and dumped.  The entire night was gone in this silent chat and the first glimpse of sunshine were just moments away. The colour of horizon was changing dramatically and this sweet journey was coming to an end.  Within hours Charulata (Cha) would reach home and Chintan (Chi) would catch the next train and carry on his journey home. Some journeys are endless and some chat are too confidential yet so unique. The silence prevailed and yet another journey passed, or should I say:

Oh my silence you are my mighty sword,

A talk can spoil this moment,

Let the sound disappear and the words prevail

From the absence of argument and dialectic foes

Just the wisdom of words and mood prevail

Rest everything in time and let silence remain….

Hello all again, the same old statement: all characters in this story are completely fictional and resemblance with anyone should be considered a mere coincidence. People may ask why do I start the same all time, the reason is simple, considering the atmosphere we are in and the impact of internet, I do not want to create any controversy, I have burnt my fingers earlier and want to make sure I learn from my mistakes. So far, we just went through two days and five attempts made by Chi to talk to Cha. If first day was a failure of attempt the second was a slide deep down to extreme of confusions. Now Chi who wanted to get in touch with Rita to know more about Cha, was misinterpreted by Cha and was caught by Virus. No one went so much in headlines in 2 days as Chi, but  what we just saw was the pinnacle of tough luck that a person can face or was it just another day. So Chi who was just caught by Virus and his attempt to get any information from Rita failed, was now returning from Library. By the time he reached hostel, he was given a hero’s welcome. He was lifted on shoulders and welcome to hostel has a solider who returned victorious from war. Chi was surprised by the welcome and was lost in his own miserable situation. He did not know what and why were people treating him this way. While his procession was going on some of his batch mates were starring at him as if they have just met their boxing opponent. He asked everyone of the reason and clearly everyone started laughing, one of the guy came forward and said: “Dude our batch would be known for years to come and the record set by you, for the kind act of openness that you have shown by talking to girl and getting booked by Virus. Our seniors want to meet you, cause you have set an example for them.”

Chi (clearly surprised and for him talking to girl was never a big issue, said): Thank you guys, But its not something that I am proud, I appreciate your affection, can I just go to my room.

Cha was upset and he went to his room and in his thoughts he skipped the dinner and quietly slept. On the other hand Cha who pulled Rita away took her to hostel and gave a big lecture on studies and how she is here to study not to gossip with guys. She was clearly furious over Rita for the trouble she has got herself in. Cha was clearly concerned about the trouble she will get from other guys. Meanwhile Rita was summoned to seniors, who clearly suggested if you want to live peacefully and study stay away from guys, you are not talking to anyone. Seniors intention was to save her from any trouble that may be brought up by comments and taunts that she may hear because of this from other male seniors. Cha issued a warning to Rita, if you ever talk to Chi or any guys make sure you are tying Raki to them ( like friendship band, it’s a band which a sister ties to their brother). With Rakhi coming soon, her intention was to make sure Chi and Rita tie Rakhi as well. So in a weeks time when festival of Rakhi was to come, will Rita be able to tie Rakhi to Chi? Lets see…

Next day, Chi entered his classes and everyone was looking at him with a strange look, some of them were as if he is their enemy (for the clear reason, how dare you set an eye on my girl), some with pity (poor chap, should have waited for few days), some with a smile (he thinks, he is the smartest kid in the block) and some with rage (meet me outside and I will teach you a lesson, the brotherly ones). He knew very well that all eyes were on him and it was clear every girl would start neglecting him. The treatment he was given that day was exactly the way Virus wanted such guys to feel (a convicted guy) and he succeeded. He quietly sat in class, and after class went to computer lab to collect print out for his first assignment. He thought of checking his email and then go. To his luck he just saw Rita entering the room. All of sudden one of the guy whistled, some started making sound. To people who are surprised to see such reaction, welcome to Indian engineering colleges. Chi felt bad and he did not want to create another scene between him and Rita, he started walking out, which happens to be the same way from which Rita was coming. He was just going out and was stopped by someone, before he could turn back and see, who it was, he received a tight slap. Before he could even recover from slap and realised what was happening, here are the words that he could hear in pin drop silence:

“ Who do you think you are, do you think you are the cool dude, do you think you can play with reputation of girls just like that, who gave you the right to bring trouble to my friend, why cant you leave her alone? If you think you are such a cool dude why wasting your time in engineering why don’t you do some modelling or any other subject? Why causing trouble for people like us?”

Guess what the person who was endlessly ranting this was none other than Cha. She was furious because to her Chi was repeating the same mistake which he did a day before. Chi who just received a slap and was humiliated in front of entire lab filled with his batch mates, could only see those eyes, that anger, that fire in Cha’s eyes however Chi’s heart was still beating fast and looking at Cha he just had a mild smile. Rita who was a mere spectator was equally shocked to see that act of aggressiveness by Cha. She felt bad for Chi and was worried for Cha and her behaviour. For a minute everything was frozen and except the sound of computer fans and sound of AC, you could not hear anything in that room. Everyone were looking at Cha and Chi. Chi looking in Cha’s eyes saw only love while it was rage and anger the other way round. Cha vented her anger out by finishing her statement “ Haven’t seen a shameless guy who still has a guts to stand in front of me despite being humiliated in such a manner”.

At this point Chi realised the entire situation and his romantic feeling disappeared in a flash. He quietly put his head down turned and went out in a flash. So 3 days from a hero to a Zero, humiliated in front of everyone, here he was Chi who was not annoyed with what happened in lab, but frustrated that the same people who lifted him on his shoulders were making fun of him, he was a laughing stock. He could not take that anymore, he was annoyed with the hypocrisy of such people. His anger was building up, never in his life he felt so bad by people around him. The entire college had only one topic to talk about and that was Chi. For some it was a topic of gossip and make fun, for some it was a matter of concern , what if  Chi and Rita fall in love, what would happen to them. So there were few who were proactive and took matters in their own hand and went to other committed guys for counselling, these so called committed guys were termed as Love Guru. Who can guide them to success and ensure that Rita is never diverted towards Chi.

Chi lost in his world, broken to core by people around him, his behaviour was changing dramatically. In 3 days he has seen everything and his life has taken a massive turn, he did not want to give up on Cha but he wanted to survive, so he decided to study, study for entrance exams (the college he missed) again. He was so annoyed that he decided if he makes it in this exam he will leave this college after telling his feelings to Cha. So in coming days his only routine was to go to class and study for exams. He was quiet in class, he had no interest in subjects, classmates, gossips, all he wanted was to run away. Various club came for induction where seniors got to meet the guy who had grabbed the headline Chi, however Chi was no longer interested in joining any clubs. He gave up everything, this was the time when Chi developed his affection with black coffee. Something which kept him awake during night to study and he use to take a jug full of black coffee, heat it, drink and study all night long. His physique changed dramatically, dark circles appeared and eyes blood red and a guy least worried of how he looked. He did not meet eyes with anyone and was silent person.

A week passed and it was Rakhi day, Cha was determined that she will ensure Rita ties a Rakhi to Chi and for once in for all this matter is closed. She went to Rita with Rakhi and put forward her request. Rita who was in her room, asked Cha do you know, what he was upto, do you know was he flirting with me, do you know that day in lab, was he coming towards me? If you are not sure how can you say that he was a trouble maker for me? When virus caught us his eyes were in tears, may be you may not have seen him, when you slapped him in front of everyone he did not retaliate? Do you know why? Any guy who had bad intentions against a girl would have retaliated, or would have shown sign of rage in coming days and you still think he was flirting with me? Are you out of your mind? Leave that poor chap alone, he has already gone through a lot, in first 10 days, more than seniors ragging him, its his own batch who has humiliated him. Cha realising his mistake, felt sorry for her act. She was determined to apologies.

Same day the news came that in month of September the first year hostel would be loaned out for cultural festival and elections, they will get a leave of 1 week. People were joyous, everyone was planning their first trip to home. Chi who was heartbroken, humiliated, mentally exhausted, had no enthusiasm to go home, but this was his chance to change atmosphere around, He got his ticket booked and his simple, monotonous routine of class, back from class, black coffee, late night study continued for a month. In the meantime, Chi had opportunity to see Cha , but he just turned his eyes and went as if he did not see anything or hear anything. Cha who was more cautious one did not want to call Chi aloud as she may get in controversy so she knew what was happening. A month passed and it was time to go back home for the first time.

Call it a coincidence or tough luck, Chi was travelling in same train as Cha and Rita, more so their compartment were adjacent. Was this the beginning of a new story? Chi saw Cha and Rita boarding the compartment and was cautious that he does not get noticed, he boarded the train at last when it was about to leave. He just grabbed his seat, brought his book out and started reading, while others were having fun, singing and playing games, Chi decided to stay away and not mingle with people. He put his Walkman on got his songs and was reading. As it was a big group, invitation to girls was inevitable, the boys brought the girls from other compartment and they were playing Antakshari (musical game) Rita and Cha were sitting diagonally opposite to Chi. Cha wanted to apologies to Chi for her behaviour, Rita wanted to talk as well and clear the misunderstanding that has surrounded because of her. However Chi was completely disinterested and avoided both intentionally. But as always there are few people who keep an eye on who is doing what and who is sitting where. One such person was Devil (Chi named him Devil in final year, real name Amit). The entire day Cha kept going through back and fro in order to break Chi’s concentration but the damage was already done and Chi was in no mood to cause any more trouble. By evening the game settled and one of the guy started showing his talent, he was a flute player, he started playing flute (musical of Taal) the girls just surrounded him and started requesting him for some more tunes.

Chi for the first time gave up his concentration, his guyhood challenged him. A guy never feels bad when he is humiliated by girl he loves but he burns down to ash when the girl he loves adores another guy be it for his quality or his skills. I can assure you guys reading this would agree in their heart but may disagree on the face. Chi tried to resist as long as possible and by sunset, he left his seat and went to end of compartment and stood near the door.

His anger needed to cool down, the cool breeze, the music of his Walkman were quenching his soul and he was trying to recover from everything. Every train that passed by brought a gust of wind which cooled his internal jealousy. He so wanted to showcase his talent of poetry to the group and expect Cha to look at her the same way as she was looking to that guy. Chi was lost in thoughts and trying to cool himself down, he suddenly noted a tap on shoulder, to his surprise it was Rita. She looked around and in a hurry said:

“Look I am sorry, I know you have gone through a lot because of me, I understand you had a tough time, but please forgive me if any of my or Cha’s behaviour hurt you. Both of us apologies”

Chi (with a smile on his face): Its alright confusions happen, for now you go else we would be in more trouble.

Rita left in a hurry and guess what Devil heard this conversation. What will happen from here on? Will devil spill the beans, is there any more twist in tale remaining. Will Cha come and apologies, will Chi accept his apology? Will Chi make it to his dream college? Will his monotonous routine ever change? Will he get any more trouble in future? Only time will tell. For now just enjoy this song:

And be grateful to god for the life, it has many colours enjoy every colour with same passion and vigour.

So lets start again but first the same old statement: all characters in this story are completely fictional and resemblance with anyone should be considered a mere coincidence. After getting rid of all the formalities lets just look back of where we are, we just went through one day and three attempts made by Chi to talk to Cha. But first day was not the right day, having said that whats the sign of right day? Does it have anything special, does it differ from other days? I would like to hear your views on this. For now lets go back to day 1, Chi submitted the challan, and went to see in which section was Cha in, even though he didn’t know which section he was in? Such is the excitement of love, it changes life you don’t know what you are upto, but you always want to know what the other one is upto , close to notice board where the detail of section was posted, with his fingers crossed he looked for Cha and it didn’t took too long as she was in section B, however looking at entire section B he could not find his name, his heart sink and was not very happy, being in section E was a mere consolation for him. So next job for Chi was to find where Section B class room would be and can he find someone with whom he can be good friend.

So he comes back to hostel find few people who happen to be in Section B and few in E. New day in college time to make new friends, in the mean time Cha happens to get along well with Rita Gupta, who happens to be the heart throb of the batch and in a gender skewed engineering college she was the one who will get a lot of attention. She happens to be in Section A, it so happens that section A and B are next door to each other and other 4 section happens to be away. It’s important to know the location cause it will help you understand the situation better. After a long day and a good rest both Cha and Chi excited to attend the class and give there best shot in class. Butterfly in stomach and excitement in heart and determination do better are some of the trait that you start your engineering year with, it happens to disappear soon with guys and grows strongly in gals which you will see in story very soon.

Chi before going to his classroom deliberately with guys of section B to understand where there class room is and like a typical engineering student started the trend of arriving into classroom after the teacher arrives. On the other hand Cha was accompanying Rita as they have found a good chemistry together on Day one itself. First few lecture passed and with every minute close to launch the excitement in Chi was growing and now was his moment to talk which he wanted to do during last 3 attempt, nervousness crept but he was trying to calm himself down. The moment lecturer left the class he was out and away, not worried who was calling and where his company was heading. He knew where he was heading, but the moment he reached there room was empty the class left early and he was late. Just when he was disappointed and was leaving he saw her standing and waiting for someone around the corner. You and I know that she was waiting for section A to leave so that Rita and she can go together, Cha completely unaware thought that he was noted in his last 3 attempts and he had a ray of hope that now that she noted it would give him a confidence to talk to her. So not to make it too obvious for Cha, Chi went to Cha and asked if she saw which direction Abhishek left, obviously he did not want to make it too obvious that he wanted to talk to her.

Cha (nervous but looking straight into eyes of Chi): He is your friend you should know it, how will I know where he is? However the class ended early and everyone left 10 mins back.

Chi (taken aback by the response and a lot more nervous now): Oh ok. (Looking here there thinking of what now to do, how to start conversation, ideas dry quickly in such adverse conversation)

Cha was looking straight into the eyes which was making Chi nervous but she knew very well that its not Abhishek he is after, and her suspicion was that Chi was after Rita. She wanted to save her friend from strangers and wanted to avoid unnecessary trouble for Rita so decided to start the conversation and direct Chi away quickly. But there was something in Chi’s eyes that made Cha to know more about him. Was it the trigger that both of them were holding or was it something different.

Chi (stammering and mumbling): so, are you…

Cha (cutting the conversation short): I think you are talking about the tall Abhishek, right, I think he went that way.

Chi (utterly annoyed and disappointed, eyes trying to say more but the words not coming out and with the kind of response from Cha, he had no more scope of talking). Ya ok thanks for your help. If you need any help do let me know bye.

Such was nervousness within both end and yet both of them wanted to see each other atleast once more. Chi decided this was not the right time and he should fall back, he needs to be better prepared. As soon as Chi turned back and started walking away, section A dispersed and people were coming out. Cha wanted to ensure if Chi was after Rita or not. Chi decided to make sure what was Cha upto and what was she doing there so decided to stick there with some of the new made friends. Cha left with Rita and Chi clearly understood that if he has to be more confident and understand Cha better he better get some help from Rita. So with this clear plan he decided he will make a better come back where he is better prepared.

That evening Chi decided to go to library, to his luck he saw Rita there. He thanked god and his luck that its not all that bad, luck is favouring him. So he bravely went and saw Rita, compared to Cha the conversation was way too smooth and confident. However he was not aware that his conversations were monitored by 2 people one Cha who was watching Rita and Cha from one corner and Virus aka (Viramani U S). Virus was head of the department once and while he was the head, one of the student committed suicide because she was harassed verbally by a guy with whom she broke up sometime back. Virus being Head had to resign and give up his post, however he made a pledge that he would ensure no such mistake happens ever again. His method to ensure that it never happened was to catch guys and girls talking together and take a picture of them and put them on notice board. For him he was naming and shaming them in public, but for students it was a warning and if he finds it out again he may go to Deans and request action against you. Having said that prior batches have found a method to escape this punishment by either meeting girls at temple or outside college campus. With just second day in college a lot was to be learned about the system and its work around.

Chi calmly talking with Rita, without knowing the dangers, surrounding him. He started with intro, place , department, section and exam ranks, just when he thought it was the right time to ask about Rita’s friend, in comes Virus, yelling Hey you 2 boy and girl, (a very loud voice in not so loud library corridor took both by surprise) Chi looked around and to his surprise he could not find any other boy and girl standing together and he soon realised that call was for him. Before he could react and say anything Virus was over his head, grabbing him by the shoulder. I am talking to you, did you not hear me. Chi nervous no sir, I did not see you.

Virus (crooked smile): Do you know who I am?

Both (nervous): No sir

Virus (sealing the authority) I am Viramani, professor of ECE department, and do you know why I stopped you?

Both (even more nervous) : No sir

Virus (taking out his camera): Stand there I will tell you why.

Both (completely clueless of whats happening stood where they were asked to without knowing what will happen next and why is he taking out camera) Yes sir.

Click from a camera and photo of 2 were taken, both taken aback not knowing what is going around, even more nervous.

Virus: Next time I see you both of you together other than anything to do than studies, I may take action against both and you too need to provide justification of what you were doing in library corridor and is this the place to talk with girls?

Chi: No sir we just met and we were from nearby place to just introducing each other.

Virus (not expecting a response and thought the threat was enough was surprised): Are you from same place? Are you in same department?

Chi : No sir

Virus: Did you introduced yourself to everyone that you met, do you know every guy in your year?

Chi (soon realising that he is making a mistake extending the conversation and fear of getting any action on Day 2 decided to retreat) No sir, sorry sir, wont happen again.

Rita quietly watching everything and almost in tears, for her it was a moment of shame. Cha watching everything quietly from the corner, thought her suspicion was true, Chi is after Rita and she needs to protect Rita from any more misery in coming days. The moment Virus turned back and Chi ensuring he is gone, Rita was pulled away and taken outside by Cha without a word being exchanged. By the time Chi turned his back, Rita was gone ,he looked around and could not find anyone.

So attempt by Chi to get in touch with Rita to find about Cha went to vain, both Rita and Chi photo was on notice board and the news of both of them together caught by Virus spread in entire campus like a wild fire. Cha even more confident that Chi was after Rita and in coming days would try to get in touch with Rita or her soon. Seniors who didn’t even met there juniors were appalled to see that such incident has taken place and were not even more curious to meet both Chi and Rita.

With so much happening and in 2 days 5 attempts to talk to Cha failing miserably and no concrete communication established it was clear its going to be rough ride for Chi in coming days and getting in touch with Cha would require some special effort, some magic. On the other hand Cha was convinced that she needs to be around Rita to avoid any more trouble coming on her. I am sure this story has taken enough twist and turns and is way different from what movies show college life to be. But my next question how will this confusion go away. Will they get to know each other in next episode. Please do keep reading and do live a comment and let me know if you liked it or not. Till then enjoy this song and

Enjoy the song:

Love life live life….!!!

If you missed the episode 1, you can find it here: Cha and Chi (Episode 1):The first look

So here we go again a new series with new characters and before I start let me make it absolutely clear all characters in this story are completely fictional and resemblance with anyone should be considered a mere coincidence.

Now that we have finished all the formalities, here we are with the main storyline. I am not going to bring back any characters that I have used in my prior story back to life again. I give you Charu (Cha) and Chintan (Chi) and like a true gentle writer, ladies first then gents, and that’s how I wrote the series title, just in case you are wondering what sort of title is this. Now that I have introduced the characters let me introduce you to the characters and give a little bit of background of both, Charu aka Cha or Charulata Hemrajan a hardworking, strong minded, successful IT girl, an expert in ERP and customer delivery, award winning successful professional. Always on the move, multi-talented, singer, dancer, sketcher and musician. This was all about herself but she comes from a lower middle class family and being the eldest of family has been at the receiving end of much of the hardship faced by family. She knows the real value of hard work, compromise and dedication. The reason I am giving such a detailed explanation of background would be clear further in story, also it’s a scientific fact that the decision that you take is actually consequence of historical situation that you have faced or basic character traits within you. Enough said, here is the other side of the character, Chintan aka Chi aka Chinteshwar Pratap Ranawat. I am sure now you will appreciate why I am using the short forms. So Chi appears to be from royal family, rich and sophisticated isn’t it. If only this world can eliminate such subconscious bias in their mind. Chi is a son of a single mother, who brought her up and just like Cha, he comes from a similar background, but like Cha, he is much more carefree, emotional character. He is no less talented, he wrote his first poem at an early age of 7, which found its way in school magazine, loves public speaking, athletic and photography are few of his talents. Having said that he did try his hands on music, Salsa, blogging and arts. He is a people oriented, logical thinking, curious manager, working in manufacturing sector. Enough of introduction lets get on with the story, the story goes back 15 years from now, you might be wondering am I telling you a story grandma style, Yes I am cause this story has enough twist and turns that will make your head go on a roller coaster ride.

Lets go back to August 2003, after 2 drop years and similar number of attempts Cha got admission to a good engineering college, not the one he wanted but, you only get what you work for, more so Indian engineering exams are considered one of the most fiercest and competitive entrance exams. Scope of further improvement always existed but time was not something that he had luxury of, more so every attempt increase was a financial pressure that he was putting on his family and a mental pressure of not being able to succeed on himself. On contrary in comes Cha fresh after 12th in the same college with a higher rank than Chi. So as you can see Cha was clearly smarter than Chi, but don’t get me wrong only if entrance exams were true barometer of students smartness and intelligence. Yes I am a critic of Indian education system, that does not mean I hate it to core, I believe its good but a scope of big improvement exist.

With lot of expectation both Chi and Cha entered the college, in comes the day of final reporting to college. This was the day when Chi had first encountered Cha for the first time, now you may wonder why not vice versa, so here are the details. Chi enters the auditorium grabs his seat, waiting for his turn to come for submitting his documents, while he was arranging his documents and sorting his stuff out he hears a call for Cha, well the name was too long which he found too common but what was most common was the nervousness. While Cha climbed the stairs to reach the stage and submit her documents she dropped the entire arrange papers on floor and collected everything in haste. By the time she was at the stage every effort she had made to be systematic was gone, and on the stage she was submitting her documents as when asked for and searching them in bunch of papers. Chi was watching this calmly and he knew that very instance, he was not alone on this planet to have this nervousness, having said that he made up his mind that he would speak to Cha when she comes down and will ensure that he himself does not commit the same mistake which Chi committed. After submission Cha was coming down, and Chi was approaching her. That first look of Cha had something in for Chi, he lost something that very instance, he was lost in those eyes, a face you wont call the most beautiful face in the world  that guys would dream off but one that did magic on Chi. He had a smile on his face and all he could hear in the background were musical instruments being played, heart beating too fast, a blink of eye and that face was everywhere for Chi. He made all the courage and walked towards Cha, all of sudden he heard his name being called up. At that very instance that dramatic scene just ended and all he had was sweaty palms and beating heart and a sub conscious state to reach the stage. He knew very well that he would cross Cha on his way and when it happened both of them crossed each other without looking at each other, however Chi could fee the cool breeze when she passed him. So in this half lost mind and completely lost heart he approached the steps and while climbing the third step he lost his balance and just like Cha, Chi lost all papers and document that he arranged. Here is a lesson when you look at others and smile always learn a lesson and make sure you apply that lesson at the right time. That was my practical side giving you a lesson but my artistic side says just like Bollywood hero SRK “ Seniorita, when you are in love  everything is fair and everything is fine”. So despite all his preparation what was to happen did happen, such was the magic of the first look. Chi somehow managed to calm his nervousness and same as Cha managed to submit all the documents as when asked for by searching them in the bunch. If you thought this story and that day ended here only, you are mistaken, cause as I said this story has lots of ups and downs.

After submitting the documents Chi was allocated the hostel and Cha went to have her lunch. Chi after visiting his hostel and room made a list of stuff that he may need and decided to complete the formality of fees. So the procedure for fees was that you submit the fees in college account get the Challan and submit the challan in administrative office. So Chi made his list and moved towards college shopping complex which comprised of bank building as well. Chi was still in Cha’s thoughts and regretted not able to speak to Cha. So when Chi entered the bank, the first person he saw was Cha on the counter, such was her magic that poor Chi again lost his balance but this time due to the channel gate steps, the same music the same heart beat started again but with loosing balance he came back to real world and looked around so that no one noticed him. He got his balance right and by the time he turned around and reminded himself to talk Cha, she was gone, he looked around but all of sudden she disappeared. Not for long, she was in managers cabin trying to explain something, Cha waited so that he could speak when she comes out, but manager was on call so he decided to pay the fees and catch up with Cha when she comes out. He was in queue and keeping an eye on manager’s cabin, the discussion went on and on and the queue kept getting shorter and shorter, he thought today was his day and he would get a chance to speak to her. His optimism grew when he was submitting the fees and she was still in there. All of sudden the cashier got a call and she left the counter and went to managers cabin. All of sudden Chi felt betrayed by his luck again, just when he thought he had a perfect chance it went away just like that. By the time cashier came back, Cha was leaving the cabin and Chi decided to follow her, but got called back by cashier to collect the challan, he quickly collected and went rushing out. He looked around and soon found Cha walking towards juice center. He quickly ran towards juice center and in doing so stepped on a muddy puddle. That was it , he gave up and said to himself that today was not his day, its not today reveal all the secrets and just like Christina Rossetti said:

“Perhaps some day, who knows?

But not today; it froze, and blows and snows,

And you’re too curious: fie!

You want to hear it? well:

Only, my secret’s mine, and I won’t tell”.


So to my readers here is my question, was fate giving a wake up call to Chi, to not approach Cha or was it not the right time. Was Cha even aware of anything that was happening around her? did she noticed Chi ever? Did you ever encounter such situations, if you have please feel free to leave your comments. Till then aidos and until next episode love life live life…..balloon

Its amazing how a letter can change the entire meaning of a word, like mate or made, cart or card. I am not going to talk about English word today and not on any word jumble game but on a serious topic in a different language. Lets talk about 2 words in Hindi “Vivah” (meaning marriage) and “Virah” (meaning separation) as you can see the only difference between them is a “V” and a “R”, but meanings are poles apart. I always thought can the two emotions cannot come together and could not imagine a scenario together for the same person. But I came across this song:

I know people may argue what is happening in this song and how the 2 person depicted in song behaved. I would not go into analysis of what is happening between them but on the theme of song. How a marriage has changed everything and how separation can make a perfectly fine person a completely different person.

The key take away for me from this song still remains what if the person you trust and love betrays you can he/she go to a limit that he/she can become mad or loose his/her identity completely? This song is an evidence of what a betrayal can do, such is the power of love and such is the strength of this emotion that you can loose yourself (burn yourself to ashes) or build yourself (from ashes). This brings me to my second point.

Love does not fear anything, neither the tradition nor any person in this world. If you start fearing in love then to me that’s not called love. Love is such a beautiful thing that scope of any other emotion to occupy your mind cannot coexist. Love is such a special feeling that no other emotion can occupy your mind, you don’t feel any other emotion for the other person. The trouble in today’s world is people tend to believe in other person’s word not the people whom they were with. What this concludes is you never trust the person you were with and in that case you have no right to call your love a true love.

Last but not the least love is not always about being together and achieving your loved ones, sometimes the best love stories (Romeo Juliet, Heer Ranjha etc)  are the ones where the loved ones were never together no matter what, be it world, be it tradition, be it life itself. However those love stories are never great and worth a mention where trust, faith or dedication is missing. Love may lead to “Vivah” or Virah” but that is only worth a story when you have trust in your loved ones, you have faith in others intention, you can question anything  but never question the dedication and if  any of above is missing, its best to close that chapter of life and remember the sweet memories and build yourself because as a wise person said to me “Life is about achieving bigger purpose”. My only question to that wise person is what if you have achieved everything is life materialistically, where should the person go then should he/ she loose his/her existence then?


Let me know what you feel do drop in your comments.


When you mattered to me the most

Life was like the sailing boat,

I put my trust in you, in the deepest oceans

Went on war to face the world,

Became care free to fight my battle with this world


But here I am alone on the shore on a wet sand

With breeze hitting my soul

Teaching me the lesson, when you trust, trust no more

You cheated me and you lied to me

You pushed me against the wall and I cried to live


You tore me apart left right and centre, yet I stood for you

You convinced me that you were different

All the promise and all the joys ripped apart in a moment

And here I am shredded in pieces

Crying and singing this song, when you trust, trust no more


The storm that came and went by, the dust when settled

All the promises were over

I found you no different than the first time we met

Each event replayed itself again

My senses could only say this, when you trust, trust no more


The echoes of past, lost their will, promises faded in a flash

Oh, how silly I was

To conquer the ocean when the pirate sat right next to me

The pain that I am feeling now

Will always remind me, when you trust, trust no more


The wound that bled and the soul that cried, this heart will abide

After all this yet I am to blame

Alas I don’t think I deserve these claim or any of these pain

My eyes have responded

This is the end and this is how it ends, when you trust, trust no more


In this world that I will build now will not have my heart and soul

The damage was done and you rested my soul

If the meaning of trust is to break the trust, that is what I will live by

For me this time I won’t be broken

As it’s difficult to fix, so this time when I trust, I trust no more


My last words to whomever it may concern, from now to beyond

My trust is not a privilege

That anyone can come and shear off with a snatch of a string

I reside in a world it has no value

So here I am making a promise, when I trust anyone, I trust no more…


I wish..

Oh I wish I could live that life again
Flying through the sky and facing the wind
Sitting by the sea and watching the setting sun
Oh I wish I could live that life again

A night that was the one sitting and waiting for sun
Living the moment yet not speaking to one
Oh my heart my heart that beat
Oh I wish I could let it come out and show its beat
Holding the hand and soaking that heat
Oh I wish I could live that life again

So when the sun came the journey began
Your sunken eyes were half asleep then
Passing you the comfort a journey that was
Oh I wish I could have taken the jerks away
Waking you up was a crime for me
Yet letting you sleep and let time go wasn’t acceptable to me
Oh I wish I could live that life again

The talk of the tale where lips were sealed
The words were exchanged but silence was roaring
I was so joyous I couldn’t explain if only I had words
Oh I wish I could live that life again
Oh I can only wish



We live, we die, we see, we enjoy,

life is a journey we should enjoy,

its has joy it has pain, it can be insane

we love we hate, we are happy we are sad

A day, a month an year and we are here

Life keeps passing by and the age that defy

I know I am aging its the this feeling that’s caging

I want to set it free but its still within me

the notion of this time those feeling so divine

still reside within me, I thought it was time

but those feelings are not sublime

I know I am ageing with every season facing

I am with myself hoping to see that view

Alas its life and time has passed by

I wish I could be true and don’t miss those blues

but reality is bitter and doesn’t make you better

may be one day I could go back in time

and may be then I will be fine

Its a riddle that does not die

with time passing by I wonder what it is

or may be its just me or may be its just me….