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Archive for August, 2009

Okiie here we go with another story. But this time it’s not a story, in fact it’s a conversation and before I start let me make a clear disclaimer.

Disclaimer: All the characters in this episode are unreal and fiction, any similarity would just be considered a coincidence. The following conversation is not to hurt any ones feeling but to make readers laugh. The contents are copyrighted and should not be copied anywhere without the permission of author.

So here we go with our AB Baby. Recent days Pal was in touch with a new friend AB, to introduce you about AB he is a big time flirt, a big Casanova, and with an innocent look on his face, he manages to impress as many gals as he can. Now let me present to you the epilogue of this conversation. AB is always on mobile; Pal even forgets the name of gal to whom he talks but AB has a special friend “Baby”. The moment baby calls him he leaves all work and talks with baby. The worst part is both of them have silence mobile. I don’t need to tell you all what silence offers, and still if you are curious here it is (free calling from night 11 to morning 6 day time calling to 1 number at 50paise/min.).

 So the situation is both of them had a fight at night and now AB is in office. Sitting at his place he is with pal, (AB really looking sleepy and looking at mobile again and again)

Pal: AB looking upset, whats the matter??

AB: Dear I had a fight with baby; I really don’t understand why gals behave so odd on such small things.

(Guys always think that things are always small on which girls’ fight, hope gals agree with me)

 Pal: Now what’s that small thing over which you had fight?

 (off course Pal is the social problem solver, how can he be unaware about this one?)

AB: She says you don’t care for me!! Actually we had talk for around 1 hr and then I slept automatically and since I keep my mobile in silent mode so that my roommate does not get disturbed, I could not realize when I slept and how many missed call she gave. When I called her in the morning she was angry.

Pal: Okie at what time did you sleep

AB: I don’t know but we started talking at around night 1 when she came from movie and then from mobile I found that we had a talk for about 1hr 30 mins and after that mobile got disconnected automatically. There were 156 missed calls.

 Pal: God you sleep like kumbhakaran!! Why couldn’t you wake up even after so many calls??

 AB: Dude my mobile was on silent mode.

Pal: At what time did you sleep night before that??

 AB: I slept at 4!!

Pal: And how do you manage to come to office on time then?

AB: Dude I manage the sleep in office.

 (That’s why people are not so efficient at work god damn these silence mobile people poor company TMW suffers)

 Pal: No wonder why you look dizzy. But dude if you talk so late then you can afford to sleep early one day.

(pal cursing silence mobile again for spoiling a poor guys routine, and ruining life. Why do they don’t keep any offer for day time to call free?? Poor AB)

Suddenly a sound ooo jane jana dono jaha …(AB’s mobile ringtone)

AB: Sorry pal its baby, need to talk to her

Pal: Okkie dear go ahead…!! (What else can Pal say)

AB: Hi Baby: I am not going to talk to you

(pal thinking , then why the hell this gal called AB, and more so such a shameless gal no hi, no hello, anyways it’s a typical girlish attitude).

 AB: dear I said I am really sorry.

Baby: You don’t have a curtsey to call a gal and say sorry to gal

AB: Dear I called you in the morning after you kept the phone again but you just said shut up and kept the phone.

 (Gals so rude of you, cant you be a bit kind on guys)

 Baby: So what how many missed call I gave you in night and you just 2 calls, cant you call again?? Cant you see I am angry with you??

 (Pal again thinking gals always fighting for right to equality, I suppose the guys should follow the right to equality, but when gals don’t follow this rule they are not the culprit, its guys who are meant to wait)

AB: Sorry dear, I had to leave for office!!

Baby: Oh you big time liar at 6 you had to go to office??

( Pal again thinking, it seems gals forget that when both of them talk they don’t talk for 10-15 mins they talk for hrs and when will poor guy get ready, and more so a guy waking at 6, Hats off AB, guys are supposed to get ready for office in 5 mins , on contrary gals can take hrs )

 AB: Dear I know but in the morning I was not feeling well at all

 (Oh!! The biggest weapon in the armor of guys, and forgot to tell you AB was telling about the hot gal who comes for jogging in the morning and how he follows that gal everyday)

Baby: Oh dear!! Now I am even more angry cant you tell me last night?

(Gals caring heart!! So sweet)

 AB: Dear I know you care for me but you see you also came from a long journey, so I didn’t want to give you tension.

 (Liar, liar big time liar)

Baby: No wonder why you didn’t woke up after so many calls also, but if you could have told me I wouldn’t have worried, I was awake the whole night; I thought you were drunk today.

 (Remainder AB does not drink, but gals always suspect guys for this, Poor AB, and why do gals have to be so skeptical about guys?)

AB: Dear you know I don’t drink? Baby: But you had a lid of brandy a night before, didn’t you??

AB: That was cause I really had a sour throat that night and I was not able to talk to you also.

 Baby: So what you drunk?? Cant you take any other cough syrup?

 (Gals don’t you know that the cough syrup you have contains the same and a lid of brandy is recommended by doctors to cure sore throat)

 AB: It was night 11 dear and no medical shop was open my friends just recommended a small lid and I felt good after that.

 Baby: Today you were done with a lid, tomo you will be done with a whole bottle, I mean you guys can never change.

 AB: (a bit irritated) no dear nothing like that, if that has to happen I would have changed since the college days only, pls try to understand dear.

 Baby: Okie okkie but promise me that you will never get caught in such a bad habit again.

 AB: I promise dear, I will never get involved in habit of drinking.

(Ah such a sentimental seen, pal started crying).

 Baby: I am again angry with you again!!

(Oppps!! The loop goes again, a vicious whirlpool)

 AB: (banging head against the wall, yet politely) oh dear now what crime have I done?? I want to see you happy tell me what’s making you angry?

Baby: Oh!! As if you don’t know I told you yesterday night!!

AB: ya you told me something but let me think what it is!!

(Looking pal with amazement) (Pal laughing out aloud and was really enjoying that moment. Pal thought how one can remember what she said when AB slept so soon.)

 Baby: you really don’t love me at all!!

 AB: No dear nothing like it “TI AMO” {I love you}

 All of sudden someone came walking upstairs and calling AB’s name. AB at first didn’t even noticed cause it was time to go time in romance. But when the guy at the other end came and sat on his head, unfortunately it was AB’s boss.

 AB said to baby “CAPO e’ QUI”{It means boss is here in Italian}

 and kept the phone the boss asked some rubbish question to which AB was not at all interested to answer. So he nodded everything and said

AB: Boss you asked for that report and for that report I am talking to that supplier, the concerned person is not at his place he will call me when he comes.

 All of sudden!! a sound ooo jane jana dono jaha …(AB’s mobile ringtone again)

 AB said it’s the supplier can I talk to him, Boss glad that his sincere employ so punctual and hard working, said in a smiling tone go ahead talk and pls let me know the outcome.

Pal smiling like hell just couldn’t control his laughter, because he knew it was baby again. Gals are just crazy and when they know you are in trouble they will surely do the worst mischief. The boss left and then AB again called,

 AB: hi, Baby: hello darling

(Oppps so much of love!!)

 AB: why did you give a missed call I told you boss is here.

Baby: Mi Mancava voi All of sudden AB replied but what he said was not audible.

 Hmmm it seems the talk took the most romantic turn now. The reason is pretty clear such a soft talk that it barely reaches the lovers ear and only those to can hear what they are talking not even the mobile knows what they are speaking, then how can pal know what they were talking.

AB left his seat and went to a lonely corner. It was 2 hrs before lunch.

In between Boss came again, asking for AB, to handle the situation pal said he is gone for a meeting, (God please save me from saving my poor mad friend thought poor pal). At lunch when we were going to canteen,

Pal: Spero che le mancava un sacco.

AB: (smiling came running behind) How come you know italian??

Pal: Dear you are not the lone lovers, this world is full of lovers, and whatever you talk is known to everyone.

Hope everyone agrees with me.

But after telling this complete story, I just want to ask one thing love has changed life of many, some have gone to the apex some have lost their way in life. Why does it happens some go on ultimate highs and some go too low being in love. Please let me know your views.

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Col-pal

boys-tie-6Dear all

Welcome once again to the author’s world, here I create a world for you which is not rational and has equal opportunity for everyone and gives a fair opportunity to every citizen. Now wondering why am I mumbling the Indian constitution once again in front of you and bugging you all. The simple reason for this is because today I am going to take you to an engineer’s world. Its rightly said today in any big city if u throw a stone up and listen to a sound in 90% case its going to be engineer that will be crying, not because a stone fell on his head but due to a simple reason, he will think that another engineer did this cause he/she was jealous of him/her, or cause he/she may be fed up with the job or last the but not the least the job is not challenging its BORING. Now that’s an engineer’s mind for you, true and real in all sense. This is the logic on which engineers live. That’s Engineers life biggest tragedy and nothing can be done for this. Engineers are meant to live like that.

So how after the tragedy let me tell you an engineer’s paradox, since there higher secondary education they are fed in their mind that they have to get a good engineering college and they have to crack all India level big exams. So programmed are our brains that we follow the instructions carefully and run the race like a rabbit. Wow!! We made it I got this rank in so and so exam and secured this much percentile in this exams , photos in the newspaper , tutorials making money , catching more fish for as their prey and spreading this disease in many more poor kids, who haven’t seen the world. The race is so blind that even those who don’t know where they will be heading run in it with a faith that they will reach somewhere, and if they loose then they are good for nothing burden on their family. But the paradox starts once they get all name and fame. The real story begins from here. You make it in big exams and like a shooting star you shine for a minute, your name and fame is all gone when you go to counselling centre, you look up for all good branch but find that you won’t get the college of your choice, if you get college of your choice you won’t be getting the branch which you have dreamt all over the years.  Luckier are those who get both, but lucky are those who get even one, now once they are done with the counselling they get the college they dreamt and now all the big dreams of college are lived. Wow the college in movies, a hero and heroine all people roaming around, playing basketball, trendy dresses, and cool babes (my apologies to all those hurt here). But these are all dreams, and they are to be thrashed one day or the other, but this dream of an engineer gets thrashed very soon. The moment he enters the college, like asian paint ad, ( naya ghar, naye biwi…badhiya hai!!) purana hostel, purana room… badhiya hai!!. So how does it feel to be on the other side of the rift where you have nothing but darkness!! So the paradox lies in when you look for good college you don’t get good gals and when you get good gals you don’t get good college. That’s engineer’s paradox.

 

Now this time my story for PAL goes on same track, Pal not so bright not so poor, all in all an average student with average rank and average capabilities, came to an engineering college , like I told in the earlier passages, he too had some dreams regarding college, but as I say dreams are meant to be thrashed. So he came to college saw old building and in that old building he had a old room which had so many things scribbled on the walls!! Mentioning all of those here in blog wont be good for readers , probably the readers are smart enough to understand what I am pointing to. Poor PAL lost all hopes, brought out his trendy dress and thought he could wear it on the most important day of his life, The first day in college, but to add to his misery some people came running and yelling in the hostel corridor, they were calling PAL’s name. PAL shocked and surprised, till now I didn’t even introduced himself to anyone, to his surprise the corridor was yelling his name, he went out and went on with the people who were yelling his name, The story has a villain and here you have it, a firsty’s biggest enemy “The Seniors”. So gentle and so polite on the first day, as if they are your caretakers and your best friends!! But those villains had only bad news to give to PAL and that was the rules and regulations of Ragging!! The first rule said no trendy dress!! I said na dreams are meant to be thrashed!! Again the dream got thrashed!! Now how will PAL impress others?? What will PAL do. He said to himself that its ok life goes the hard way and he is going to face it nice and easy.

 

Day 1 of the class!!

After having a poor quality nutritious breakfast (on which I will dwell upon sometimes later) PAL made the first move to college classroom, sincere as ever he reached there 5 mins earlier and thought he did a smart move. Saw the class had half the benches empty and the gals were sitting on the right side bench. Looking at gals!! Goodness me PAL’s throat dried and he said to himself are all engineering college gals the same!! To which the reply I leave to the readers!! Now let me tell you the college which PAL got was down south and had a good repo across india. But since you went too south your expectations should also dip. So did PAL thought. He consoled to himself that stop expecting and focus on your studies, you are here to study. The moment he did so and raised his head, he was shocked. His mouth was open as it is!! Here comes the M*** Hope the engineers make it out clearly (The babe, the one etc)!!. God she was really beautiful, for the first time PAL felt that he never dreamt wrong. But like the OM Shanti OM movie, picture abhi bakki hai mere dost!!!

 

Many more dudes and hunks came , many gals also came to class!! But I suppose PAL was stuck with his dreams, he just thought now what?? He forgot everything the focus, the studies, the hardwork that he was suppose to do. Why the hell guys have to be like this (Sure the gal readers will think the same way after reading all this). The lecturer came and the class started, Pal like programmed machine was stuck in that infinite loop of that angel. Everybody started introducing them self and as always ladies first!!! Prabha, priya, sujata, shweta,pooja, and many more, now it was the turn of the angel to speak, and the moment which PAL was waiting, she introduced herself as SOMNIKA Arya, what sort of name is this!! But who cares, PAL had this name embedded in his mind, and he was just waiting for his turn so that he can tell to SOMU (aka Somnika) who he was? He did it loudly looking at her for a reaction but unfortunately nothing happened. He then waited for the next lecture , PAL thought the tone might not be appealing enough to impress somu. But for the next lecture the story didn’t change much. Then came the much awaited 10:10 break of 20mins. He thought now is the time to make a move so he moved towards somu to express her that ( Dekha jo tujhe yaar dil mein baje guitar, drum, sarangi, veena etc etc) but to his surprise she was more worried about the credit and the syllabus, goodness me!! Why the hell gals have to be so sincere and so unsocial, this is the time to meet people ,make friends and come closer!! But to hell with gals she was extra ordinary sincere. So PAL ‘s mind bulb blinked again and said boss!! You are here to study. Since PAL was well versed with the syllabus and the grade system he thought lets impress SOMU with his in depth knowledge on syllabus, by the time this idea came , Somu ran outside to drink water. Poor PAL missed out once again, thought he will make a move in lunch time.

Between the next big thing there were 2 lectures, where again the introduction will go on!! And PAL will have 2 more opportunity to impress I mean introduce to Somu . But like the last 2 attempts this attempt had the same outcome. Apart from the introduction the whole lecture was too long for PAL and poor PAL had no idea of what was going in the class. All of sudden he realised that a piece of chalk just hit his cheeks, he then realised that he was in a maths class and sir was asking him something. He all of sudden came to a new world and he something scribbled in poor handwriting on the board. The lecturer was yelling “ Yes you, tell me what is d/d(eeez){thats tamil way of saying Z} of e to the power z* (eeeez) plus sin z*(eeeez)”,  Aah what a rubbish question even a tenth grade will tell this, but this was the hidden opportunity  who knows the answer to this may be the key to impress Somu, so he replied in a confident tone sir; “its e to the power z plus cos z “ He then looked with a ray of hope towards Somu. But she was unmoved, no reaction as if nothing happened.  Bull shit what the hell on earth I have to do to impress this gal. The lecture went on well and in came the most awaited time, lunch time. As the lunch time came he thought n ways to introduce himself to Somu but, its rightly said for three things never prepare: war, exams and gals.

The time he took for thinking all this, by that time Somu left the room and went out. Pal rushed back to corridor and hunted for Somu but she was gone, He came out of the building and to his shock the villain was here, (villain here this time was not the senior) it was a nice handsome guy, off course not as smart and handsome as PAL ( a typical guyish attitude, pardon me guys  and feel happy gals). Pals heart sank like Titanic and he felt that why the hell he has to be a looser. After Somu left he went to meet that guy and found that guy was some distant relative of this gal (Bingo!! Dekha jo tujhe yaar dil mein again baji guitar, drum, sarangi, veena etc etc) After all Pal can’t be a looser!! Now he was relieved Pal thought he is the right person and he can be the good source to reach my destination. Pal then like a FBI agent (who didn’t even left SRK from interrogating) started questioning somu’s relative. Some questions on Somu and some on that guy, ohh the guys name was JAT. Jat was too innocent , he thought I was good friend and I was up for long friendship. Pal too made him feel comfortable without letting know his real intention. By the way as a typical boy the last question that PAL asked JAT was IS SOMU committed. To which JAT replied “YES, since 8th”. All of sudden the guitars and the drums sounded loud and the noise became unbearable and it looked somebody is banging hundred hammers on your head.The sound was familiar and it sounded like a kid laughing at me, ooopss thats Pal’s wake up alarm tone.

Wake up PAL was the call!! Like I said dreams are meant to be thrashed and the new ones are waiting for u till you sleep next night. Pal got ready for his first day in college what happened after that is just another story!!

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